Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry about my life...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
