It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
