I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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