I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
