U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
