I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
