yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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