Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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