hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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