I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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