So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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