she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No subtext here. People are naked.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
