Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I could make wine with my vomit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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