i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
my poor anus
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
