tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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