I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
