There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
