Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
