I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my liver is dry heaving
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
