He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
