is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
