My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
