Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
