i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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