i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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