im so drunk with asians
where?
always
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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