Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
