She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
