you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Michael Bay diarrhea
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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