I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
