i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
