Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
