Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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