Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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