ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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