I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
