I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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