I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
