I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
