She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
