Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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