And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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