shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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