oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
