Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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