you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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