Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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