I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
