Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well you can't waste a boner
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
