hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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