Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
