best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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