"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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