Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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