I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
