I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
