The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
