Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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