can u get pink eye on your cock?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
