i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
