I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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