this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
