I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
