But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
