You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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