96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
