what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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