Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
